Austinium
Table of Contents

Austinium is an awesome element with the symbol An and atomic number 136. It should be known that Austinium is a very volatile element, as it is filled with enough awesomeness to kill seven gigaelepants with one drop. The TKA takes baths in it.

Austinium
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Austinium naturally occurs in pools, which bubble up from the surface.

Discovery

Austinium was first discovered in the spring of 1937 by Austin, when he went on his epic trip to find the Lost Toast Kicking Scrolls. The most common isotope of this element is austinium-423, which bubbles up from miles underground twice a year. In laboratories, the LHC is required to make this element.

Furthur study of this element tells us that it was most likely floating around in the last universe before the big bang started ours. This element also has a strange reaction when put on toast, that is that when An gets within ten feet of toast, it performs a kicking action to the toast. Some scientists believe there is a magnetic attraction between the two objects.

A less stable and more hostile isotope of this element An-OVER9000 (abbreviated as An-O9T) has been know to cause some problems in the past (unlike its cousin An423 which is usually a good little element). For example, a man named Gnorts-Kluh, a German scientist, thought he was collecting An423 when really it was An-O9T. An-O9T seems to have a very strong kicking attraction towards cheese, while Kluh was taking a lunch break (a cheese sandwich by coincidence) the AnO9T flew upwards at around the speed of light and knocked him on his chin. Some believe his body is still in low earth orbit, but others aren't completely sure. There is even some speculation that the An moved past the speed of light kicking Kluh 70 years into the past and beginning the Is-Kluh-His-Own-Grandpa-Therom. This therom is thought to be stupid and "the-dumbest-theory-I've ever been told in the shower" by a few major scientists but it's really all opinion.

See also:
Gnorts-Kluh

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