Rayford Von Pruben

Rayford Von Pruben (Toast - LoafofToast) was the prominent Toakologist during the LoafToast era of Toast Kicking. He succeeded Gnorts-Kluh in Toast Kicking. His discoveries range from Cameronium to a known sighting and proving of the dormant existence of Wythl.


It is said Von Pruben was born in Germany; however, using recent technologies and the LHC, it is theorized he was born in the Pacific Ocean by a stray toast that was kicked into the ocean accidentally.
Using his Toast powers, he studied and theorized the effects of Toast and Toast Kicking.


Von Pruben was one of the leading scientists in the development of the LHC. However, he defied Toast-Kicker Alpha when he resented passing over the design to the NTSA. He was severely punished to not toast kick forever. During this time, he studied the LHC heavily. He discovered Zimboblified Toast Photons as a Cameronium asplotute. (At this point he had already conducted some experiments to discover Cameronium.) Using this, he then wrote a theory called Von Pruben's Theory of Everything otherwise known as VPTE. Later in his life, he was granted the power to toast kick again by TKA after Gnorts Kluh defied him during the development of the LHC. However, Von Pruben was already deep into his studies of Everything. His wifemother, Big Bertha the 28th, was also pregnant. Von Pruben set up a private, small, baby shower, that included about 0 people. However, Mr.Brown got hold of this stealthy information when they talked for about 3 seconds. Von Pruben was quoted saying "My wife's pregnant, baby shower" and Mr.Brown told everyone. Literally, he told everyone of the history of the human race. However, sadly, the Breadiens did not show up. Promiment humans from the future and past, such as Steve Jobs, Jesus Christ, Julius Caesar, Marie Curie, and lastly, the person who we as humans do not know yet, Warmen de Federelick Aglonock Polerf te Headlink Uncrumbed Loaf Excrispt Von Pruben. Everyone here, except for Warmen, died of some irrational cause, thought the be Toastiation. TKA was not invited. He got mad. Really mad. Really really really really really really mad. So mad that he actually was unjustly mad that he would bash into the Supreme Court of the day and defy all natural laws that defy the land that the toast physics destroyed and ate up the Toast Crops which caused The Great Ireland Toast Famine. So ya, Von Pruben was sentenced to death.

TKA vs Von Pruben

TKA was insanely mad at Von Pruben. Since the baby shower was a year long though, Von Pruben was quoted "Sorry, forgot. Come on in." and TKA was no longer mad.


Rayford Von Pruben was the first scientist known to establish the theory of Cameronization, where one day Krawkyz would come and Cameronize the earth. This is where the overused term Kraw and overplayed Journey song Don't Stop Krawin' originated from.

Toast Time

Toast Time was invented by Von Pruben. He used his birth as the start of "B.B." (Before Butter). Everything before his birth was denoted into years as "B.T." (Before Toast). For example, Mr.Brown was born in the year Toast-infinity B.T. Von Pruben was born in the year Toast-1 B.B. which can be appreviated to Toast. Every generation, a new name for the generation years would be added. Von Pruben died in Toast-271 B.B., otherwise know as LoafofToast-1 B.B., LoafofToast.

Wythl Encounter

During one of Von Pruben's many "Theory of Everything" experiments, he was throwing a small puppy into a red hot volcano, Olympus Mons, in fact. As the puppy fell, he noticed a glimmer of pleasure in the side. He looked at it with his trinoculars that he always carries with him, and saw a dormant Wythl there. He reported it to TKA, who did not care one bit, since Mars was not somewhere he wished to venture to.

Von Pruben's Theory of Everything

In his old age, Von Pruben was determined to finish his theory. He knew it would be criticized, but he was determined to finish it. For fun, he decided to toast kick one day to let off some steam after Gnorts Kluh was mocking his Theory of Everything. It was after that last toast kick that Von Pruben got the inspiration to finish his Theory of Everything. Von Pruben finished his <classified number>-page long theory on Toast-270 B.B.

Aftermath of the Theory

Von Pruben was gentle when he showed his theory to all the many toakologists, who immediately rejected the idea. However, TKA himself supported it.

"It exemplifies the power of Toast, and Toast Kicking in its essence. It puts together every piece of the universe to show us who is who and what is what. Potato Famine." -Toast Kicker Alpha

The Theory was never published.

Von Pruben's Theory of Everything is now considered one of The 7 Scrolls of the Elder TKA.


Von Pruben was said to have died in Germany, living a boring and uneventful life as a subway pusher. However, recent discoveries found using the LHC, it was theorized he died after a fight with Mr.Brown. They started arguing over exactly what The Brown Dimension was (Von Pruben was said to have known more, 'cause of da theory bro). Mr.Brown threw the first punch, hitting Von Pruben, who then sent a rejoinder, which missed and Mr.Brown led it into a plate of Lasagna, in turn Lasagna Punching. This is also how Mr.Brown has determined the side effects of Lasagna Punching, through Von Pruben's death. He suffered every single one. Rayford Von Pruben died on Toast-271 B.B., or LoafOfToast to honor his Toast Time Law. His death was caused for reasons that did not relate to the Lasagna Punching.

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